Request: How Do I Spice Up My Man's Look for a Special Occasion?

From Alison:

I have a wedding to go to the end of May. My hubby, I'm having a hard time with.

You mentioned that you have been able to influence your hubby into the "Decadent Rock Star" look. My hubby is pretty pliable and will mostly let me dress him how ever I want, but I'd like to add a little edge to his dressed up look. I'm just at a loss. Have you seen the show Dirty Jobs with Mike Rowe? He pretty much dresses like him. Dickie's carpenter jeans and t-shirts. Well, hello, Mike Rowe! Aren't you a handsome fellow? Even if you are a little dirty.

I've met guys who are very rigid in their "style" and it can be pretty scary. Alison, you're lucky that your man is flexible - that's going to make this a whole lot easier.

First, let me say that the most appropriate thing to wear to a wedding for a guy is a suit. Always. However, I realize that a lot of guys don't a) own a suit b) don't want to go to the expense of getting a suit that they aren't going to wear very often c) have a suit but it doesn't fit or d) just don't feel comfortable in a suit.

For me, the absolute best thing for my husband to wear is what he's most comfortable in, but is also something he looks good in. For a lot of guys, that's a hard thing to figure out. If you're stressing out about getting him to dress up, just stop. It will take baby steps, and you might only get him to wear one piece at a time until he gets used to it.

I have two Rock Star looks that I've managed to get my husband to wear regularly: one is casual and one is dressy. The dressy one will work for most weddings, unless they are super formal (i.e. big cathedral, a zillion bridesmaids)...and in that case, bite the bullet and rent a suit instead of buying. The bride will thank you.

L wears a suit every day to work, so he's got that look nailed, no problem. My problem was that his casual wear tended to be limited to sports teams, and his dressy look was ill-fitting jeans with a shirt and tie. I've been fortunate in that L will actually wear stuff that I buy him, and listen to me when I suggest outfits.

Casual Rock Star

The Jeans: I prefer a dark wash, either blue, black or brown. Same rules as for women's jeans: avoid the big fades and tapered legs. Keep it to a straight leg or a slim leg (guys who are on the slim side look awesome in skinny jeans).

The Shoes: He'll need a decent pair of shoes with a bit of personality. I look for something with colour or a stylish detail. You can go more sporty (Vans) or more rock, or even a Doc Martens shoe. NOT SNEAKERS.I found these Leather Island skull shoes on clearance for about $40 - the skulls are highlighted with mini studs. The orange and blue are Fluevogs (D.O.G. Disciples of God), from the sample sale last year.

The T-shirt: Most guys have a drawer full of band t-shirts or free t-shirts they've gotten from god knows where. Go through the drawer and look for tees with a design that is intricate or framed centrally on the chest. L now specifically looks for designs like this when he shops, to incorporate into future outfits.
The KISS Army shirt, Judas Priest tour shirt and Rush tour shirt. All of these particular designs were chosen as the most aesthetically pleasing.

MTV rock tee (bought by me in NYC), a Cardboard Robot t-shirt with Halfway House angels (used to be mine when I was heavy).

The Shirt: The man probably has a few button down shirts already. For casual, you want shirts with personality or flair to them. The bowling shirt or Hawaiian shirt style can work really well with the casual look.
L's short-sleeved shirts: black satin with red Chinese dragons, flaming skulls, red satin with skully and crossbones, Hawaiian shirt with Boston Bruins logos. The three on the left were all bought in those skateboard shops; the Boston shirt is from a sports clothing store.

Short sleeve shirts can work well in the summertime, with or without the jacket. The shirt is worn open over the t-shirt. This creates a long line visually (good if your man has a bit of a tummy that he might be self-conscious about).

The Jacket: The key look to finishing this outfit is the jacket. Look for something with texture: velvet, plaid or a pinstripe. NO DENIM.
A cotton plaid blazer I found for $19.99 on the left (I love the pink pajama lining, and the thin red stripe in the brown plaid). The chocolate brown velvet pinstripe blazer on the right is from Guess ($49.99 on the clearance rack).

Your man can take the jacket off if he gets warm, and the casual look will still work fine.

The Accessories: A lot of guys resist accessorizing as they think it makes them look less manly, but you can work around this. Buy steel or silver for jewelry pieces and keep them simple. If he won't go for a necklace, try a cuff-style bracelet or ID bracelet. A funky ring often will appeal (especially skulls or that tribal type of design). If your guy is daring, a hat (a porkpie or small-brimmed grandpa hat) looks very funky in the spring/summer.

But the best accessory for most guys is a belt. L has two leather belts with removeable buckles. Once you have a couple of good quality leather belts, new buckles make great gifts.
The skull belt is from Le Chateau ($19.99), the lady buckle is from Metro Wear in San Francisco.

Here's L doing casual for a day out shopping.
Sorry, it's dark (hotel room lighting). He's doing the Judas Priest t-shirt, with a long-sleeved burgundy textured dress shirt, with the brown velvet Guess blazer. The jeans are a dark brown wash.

Decadent Rock Star (aka the dressy look)

If your man's not too sure about this look, keep it really simple. L has had 13+ years of me working on him and filling out his wardrobe; he's also very open to being "out there" with his own look. Work within the comfort limits of your guy.

The Shoes: You really want to go to town on a cool pair of shoes. I personally prefer something with a fairly pointy toe for that old-school punk look. Look for details, like crackled leather, embroidery or elaborate stitching. Splurge and buy him a good quality shoe that is comfortable. Unlike women, guys will not wear a shoe that hurts or rubs, and since this will be his "go to" shoe for most special occasions, you may as well get him a nice pair. He deserves it.
On the left, Robert Wayne (from Town Shoes) copper with black crackle finish and embroidery. In the middle, Fluevog red "Iggy" (just purchased this weekend!), with very stylin' leatherwork and stitching. On the right, another pair of Robert Waynes (from DSW clearance rack), with funky teal leather and lime croc detailing.

The Fluevogs that L wore all weekend (you can see how much he loves these and wears them). Nice shape and contrast stitching in a classic black.

The Pants: The look needs dress pant with an edge, like a pinstripe pant, or a pant with some texture (like a tux pant or even a pair of cords, as long as they don't look too casual - think thin-wale, not wide-wale).

These are L's pinstripe velvet black cords. They work well with either casual or dressy.

The T-shirt: Don't do the t-shirt with this look, although if it's cold, he can wear the same t-shirt as with the casual look - except he will be the only one who knows he's got his favourite band on underneath...

The Shirt: Again, details are the key. Embroidery, trim, French cuffs, shiny texture, a gothy design: these are what you are looking for. If your man's a little more country than rock 'n' roll, those cowboy shirts with the snaps come in dressier designs, but keep in mind that you want more of a vintage vibe than an authentic Western look.

From left: Hart Schaffner Marx floral/striped shirt (vintage, $49, purchased this weekend), embroidered knight on pinstripe (English Laundry), black Western-style with pearl snaps and embroidery stripe (Le Chateau), Robert Graham floral shirt, shiny cerulean blue shirt with shiny stripes (Le Chateau).

The Jacket: Think Sinatra, think Mick Jagger in the 60s, think Dave Navarro (yummy), think cool, decadent and a little over the edge. Velvet, brocade or a jacket with details like studs or metal buttons. You can use the same jacket as with the casual look, but only if it is a good quality fabric (not a thin cotton jacket).

On the left, vintage Mexx ($55, bought this weekend), grey with tan pinstripe. On the right, English Laundry "Rock Star" jacket, chocolate brown with black suede trim and brass studs.

The Accessories: The same belt/buckle will work fine, but the accessories should be punched up a bit (go to 11!). If the shirt has French cuffs, look in vintage stores for some jewelled cufflinks. A pinky ring, a neck chain, even a pin on the lapel of the jacket; these will all give his outfit the pizzazz he needs to feel like he is on the red carpet.
Here, L's doing a ruffled vintage tux shirt (it has French cuffs, and he's wearing a rhinestone square cufflink), his patterned leather belt and celtic knot belt buckle.

My chainmail necklace (handmade), a steel and rhinestone dress ring, and of course, the wedding ring.

Here's the whole Decadent Rock Star look put together:
L's doing a striped dress pant with this - it is black with a light brown and tan irregular stripe (close up above in the shoe picture). He's wearing the same chocolate brown velvet Guess blazer as he did for the casual look.

To give you a shopping list of the basics, in order of things your man needs the most to pull off the Decadent Rock Star look for a wedding:

- a good quality pair of funky dressy shoes. Black is the best colour to start with.

- a good blazer in a nice texture/material. If his favourite colour is blue, look for blue.

- a leather belt with an interesting buckle. Go with black for the belt, and let him pick the buckle (even if you hate it, see above pink lady buckle).

- a button down shirt with a pattern or texture. Steer him away from suit-y type shirts and look for a colour he might not otherwise do, like teal or purple. Keep the colour dark - really bright colours will scare him.

Advice:

- Compliment him. "Mmmm...you look sexy in that jacket." or "Wow, those shoes totally rock!" or "Honey, you look like a rock star!" He will feel insecure about wearing things outside of his comfort zone, so you need to really let him know that he looks good in them. He also needs a couple of come-back lines in case his friends ask him. "This is my rock star look" is a good one.

- Put together outfits for him when you buy him a new piece. L didn't like the brown and red plaid jacket above until I showed him what to wear with it (eg. your Rush t-shirt, the knight shirt, your brown jeans, and your embroidered shoes).

- Ask him to trust you and just try it on. Many guys just can't picture how things will look together until they see them on. You need to point out things to him, like, "This jacket makes your shoulders look really broad. This shirt brings out the colour in your eyes. These pants make your butt look good." (heh, don't forget to give his tush a squeeze)

- Explain why certain things go together. We women tend to forget that we have all this background on texture, fabric and style accumulated from years of fashion magazines. Explain to him that these things all go together because all of these colours are in the shirt's pattern, or that you're using the texture (velvet, shiny, etc.) to make the outfit more visually interesting. L is a big-picture guy - he totally didn't clue into the details until I pointed them out.

Well, there you have it! I hope this was fun and helps you figure out how to get your husband to dress up for the wedding, Alison! Let me know how it goes!

Special Occasion - Dinner in Vancouver with Friends

I love doing a quick trip over to Vancouver for a day of shopping and visiting with friends. We did dinner with Tony, Laura and Craig, so of course, I had to get dressed up.
I got this dress about a year and a half ago. I've worn it twice now: once for Valentine's Day and on Saturday. The waist is lace with a thin ribbon tie, and the straps are wide lace as well. The skirt is a bunch of overlapping layers, so it has lovely movement.

Doing my green Fluevogs:

L took these pictures, so it's his fault they're blurry, haha!

My clutch:

And my ring:

I did buy a few things in Vancouver: got 2 new pairs of Fluevogs as my anniversary gift from L and bought him a pair too (see how sneakily I get around my "no new shoes" rule?). I also got a jacket and a skirt at a vintage store. I'm planning on wearing all of it this week.

Dress (Esprit), shoes (Fluevog), purse (Aldo), ring (Melanie Lynne), earrings (not shown, don't remember).

Black and White and Red All Over

Holy moly, I'm tired. I see by the Dolphins clock that it is nearly quarter to 8 and I haven't had dinner.

The outfit:
I like this outfit.

The stuff:

And a close-up of the ring:
Whoa, too close.

I got this ring in Scotland, I think near Inverness - it was handmade there. It's sterling silver and the stones are sodalite, which is native to Scotland. It was $75 13 years ago. L and I went there after we'd been dating for about a year (we'd already moved in together).

This calls for a story!

About 6 weeks after we'd met, we'd been down to the local pub here for Friday night drinks - I was wearing a fabulous linen hat (which I still have, in my clothing archives). L didn't drink, and was driving me home - he got stopped at a road check. We continued up the busy street and he gave me a glance to admire my lovely hat...and he slammed into the rear end of a car that had stopped suddenly at a mid-block crossing.

My knee slammed into the dashboard, punching a hole in both the dashboard and my knee. We pulled over...I felt faint, my knee was bleeding. I got an ambulance to the hospital and they gave me a tetanus shot and stitched my knee up. Fortunately, all the important stuff (ligaments, tendons, muscles and bone) were completely missed! However, I sued the insurance company for insuring such a poor driver as my boyfriend. His car was wrecked, by the way, and the people we hit were fine; no injuries except for me.

It took a year to get the money...but I got several thousand dollars. By then, we were pretty sure we were "meant to be", so I said to L, "I wouldn't have gotten this money if it weren't for you. Where shall we go?"

And we went to Scotland. We got married 9 months later.
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I'm taking tomorrow off, and L and I are headed over to Vancouver for a short visit with friends. We always do this for our anniversary, which is next weekend (but I accidently planned something next weekend, so we're going this weekend instead).

I am going to do a special feature over the weekend - watch for it!

Dress (Kersh), jacket (Smart Set), shoes (Calvin Klein), belt (Plum), brooch (Grandma J's, Coro, vintage), ring (Scotland), crystal stud earrings.

Disaster Averted...but, the Wrong Shade of Red

Well, this is just turning into one of those weeks.

My outfit today was based around my new turquoise skinny belt, picked up for a mere $6 on clearance at the Bay a couple of weeks ago. I checked out the length in the store, seemed fine. But then when I went to put it on over my high-waisted pencil skirt at work this morning...

Uh-oh, the belt's too big. It sits a ways below my waist.

However, I was a Brownie and a Girl Guide and I'm nothing if not creatively resourceful. I eyed my trust steak knife/grapefruit knife (what? you don't keep a steak knife at your desk?), and with a couple of well-placed stabs, voila!
We have a new hole in the leather belt! But now there's all this excess length...so I trimmed it off with the scissors and touched up the ends with a green and a blue highlighter (office supplies rock!) and look at that:

You can hardly tell! I'm so handy. Now I'm all happy again.

Unfortunately, the red tights are not the right shade: they have too much blue in them, as opposed to a nice tomato-y red (with orange tones). Oh well, can't win 'em all.

At least I was bootylicious:Thanks, Ruth! That made my day.

The stuff:I had fun mixing grey with brown - I wasn't sure it would work, but I like how it turned out. On a side note, I bought four of these wardrobe items while on shopping trips with Elaine - all different trips, too! - the blouse, the shoes, the shrug and the tights.

Shrug (Debut), blouse (Mexx), skirt (Le Chateau), belt (Bianca Nygard), hose (Hue), shoes (Jessica Simpson), bracelet (Mom's, Coro, vintage), silver hoops.

Mish-Mash - Teals and Browns

Another outfit I'm not super thrilled with - it all seemed much better when I put the pieces together than it does on:
I planned it all around my new brooch, but without the brooch on the front of the outfit, it just didn't quite gel properly. Too much of the turtleneck with the longer jacket (which looks better done up), and then the tights looked more blue than the green, and then the skirt is just a big puddle of colour. And the boots - while fabulous - don't really work with the outfit.

But I was warm, dammit! It was so cold today.

I wore the brooch on the back, which I still think is a marvelous way to wear one. Pretty skirt...mmmm....painty colours...

The stuff.

Sorry, no picture of the boots today.

Jacket (RW & Co.), turtleneck (Smart Set), belt (Le Chateau), skirt (Nine West), tights (don't recall), boots (Miz Mooz), brooch (already forgot), ring ("Sarah Cov.", vintage), earrings (vintage).

Odd Molly Skirt and Suit Jacket

It feels kind of weird to be wearing a different skirt! I'd actually planned this outfit last week, before I found out about Jane's challenge, so I just carried it over to this week.
My lovely silk Odd Molly skirt again, but with a suit jacket this time. I had fun playing with the patterns in this outfit: the double pattern of the skirt (the "border" is the skirt lining peeking out), the pinstripe in the fitted shirt, and the red and blue pinstripe in the jacket.

The stuff:
A note about my pictures, since it's been mentioned a few times: I'm sorry that they're dark and that sometimes it's hard to see the colours. This is the brightest room in my condo and I'm using the den's central light, plus a desk lamp aimed at me. I hate how the flash on the camera washes everything out, so I don't use it. You should be able to click on the picture to make it bigger, and I always try to use one of the clothing pieces as my "background" so that you can see texture.

As we just had Daylight Savings (or whatever the Spring equivalent is), the light will be brighter here in the den going forward, but I take my pictures mostly in the evening when I'm home from work, and sometimes it's dark outside. And yes, I have a cheap camera.

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I'm not feeling very well tonight...it's come upon me all sudden-like (plague, I'm sure). Forgive me if I sound cranky.

Suit jacket (Vero Moda), blouse (Vero Moda), skirt (Odd Molly, consignment), shoes (Bleka), necklace (don't remember), earrings (Gracie Rose).

Wardrobe Challenge - 1 Skirt, 5 Ways - Day #5

Last day of the skirt!

I must say, I have really enjoyed this challenge - focussing it around one wardrobe piece has really pushed me creatively to come up with new ways to wear it. Although I've worn this skirt several times since I got it, one does tend to get lazy when planning outfits. Having to plan around one specific item has helped me branch out and look at new combinations, as well as dig through my closet and jewelry box for seldom-worn items.

For example, I don't think I've ever worn brown and grey together:
Hmmm...not sure exactly how awake I was this morning, but apparently I felt like stretching. Ha!

I had a lot of compliments on the tights - they're lots of fun.

The stuff:

I love these super pointy kitten heels from Cat. Added a little rock 'n' roll with the buckle belt, the ring and the big earrings (only worn once or twice since I bought them).

Surprisingly, I'm not totally sick of the skirt after a full week of it, either. I would do a variation on this challenge: one jacket/blazer or something like that.

Thanks for the fun, Jane!

Quiz for the weekend: which outfit did you like best? (scroll down, I'm too lazy to post a poll).

Day 1: Blue Business and Gladiators

Day 2: Caramel and Orange with Wedge Boot

Day 3: Spring Yellow and Green

Day 4: Texture Heaven

Day 5: Casual Friday Grey and Brown

Jean jacket (Ann Taylor Loft), turtleneck (Reitman's), skirt (Suzy Shier), tights (can't remember), belt (Jacob), shoes (Kenneth Cole Reaction, gift from Cat), earrings (Plum), ring (Fairweather).

Wardrobe Challenge - 1 Skirt, 4 Ways - Day #4

Day #4? Are you freakin' kidding me?

Yes! Today's outfit is all about texture:

I'm doing blue with brown again, but like I said, texture is the key to this outfit.

Velvet blazer (new-to-me, $19.99), the applique thingy on the top with the beads, the big belt with the cutouts, the herringbone of the skirt, the patterned tights, the stitching on the shoes, the woven metal of the earrings, and the details on the bracelet (a new purchase).

A close-up of the tights. They are actually gold with a black pattern:

Funky shoes, man!

The stuff:

I adore that bracelet. It's another piece by Lucky Brand - it was on an extra 40% off the sale price, so I got it for $11.00, regular $40. I really like that it has little peace signs between the links. The blue mottled stone goes with the shirt, and the dark brown link is actually wood. Even the "stone" in the flower is cool. But what really sells me on a piece like this is the hidden details:

Isn't that amazing? That's the back - the designs are all raised. I love that there's a fishy type pattern.

One more day of the skirt! I am looking forward to doing it for Casual Friday!

Blazer (Gap, consignment), sleeveless shirt (Nygard), camisole (Esprit), skirt (Suzy Shier), belt (Plum), hose (Hue), shoes (Unlisted), earrings (don't remember), bracelet (Lucky brand).

Wardrobe Challenge - 1 Skirt, 3 Ways - Day #3

Day 3 of the Skirt Challenge and I am loving it! In fact, I plan to carry on and wear this skirt right through to Friday (so that I can get a Casual Friday in there)!

Today's outfit:
My office-mate Bonnie gave me a pair of her earrings that belonged to her mom (aw! thank you so much, Bonnie! I wish you'd been there today to see it in person), so I built the outfit around them. Yellow cardi (nice and Spring-y), green cami, picking up more green in the net tights and shoes, and then the skinny brown belt to tie it all together.

I would have gone with a slight thicker belt next time (if I owned one) but otherwise, I liked this outfit.

A shot of the tights - they are a mossy green. The ribbon trim on the shoes is also a mossy green. Sorry all my shots are a little blurry...I was up rather late last night.
The fab shoes, and the accessories:

The earrings look 80s era to me. The bracelet is my mom's, liberated from her jewelry box back in about 1984 (I remember wearing it to high school).

The brooch - yes, that is a shovel - has been mine even longer. It's Mom's as well, but I got it when I was about 12 years old. I had this striped tunic top (very 70s) with a low slash neckline - this is in the Days Before Camisoles - and I was very self-conscious about my boobs, so Mom gave me this pin to hold the neckline closed. Honestly, I don't think I have worn this in 30 years.

Off to aikido!

Cardigan (no label, consignment), cami (Esprit), skirt (Suzy Shier), belt (Bianca Nygard), hose (don't recall), shoes (Hale Bob), earrings (gift from Bonnie), bracelet & pin (Mom's, 60s/70s vintage). Is it just me, or is anyone else freaked out that 60s & 70s are now vintage??

Wardrobe Challenge - 1 Skirt, 3 Ways - Day #2

Today's outfit mixes easy colours with the brown skirt: orange, cream and caramel. Yummy autumnal combo!
That frilly shirt has a big bow on the back of the neck. I really wanted to wear my new boots today. I picked these up at the consignment shop - never worn! Brand new! In my size! $29.99! Get outta town! Check them out:

Sweet...groovy wedge heel, little fabric bow at the top (all together...aw!), nice stitching details. Sure, they're just vinyl, but hey, they're warm, trendy and they were cheap.

The other stuff:

And they match the belt really well! I went for big, bold accessories today: the hammered bronze cuff, the ginormous gold hoops and the distinctive belt buckle.

I'm liking this challenge quite a bit. I'm not finding it hard at all to match things to this skirt.

Blouse (Vero Moda), sweater (Vero Moda), skirt (Suzy Shier, gift from Heather), boots (Outlines, consignment), belt (Aldo Accessories), cuff (Oscar & Libby's), earrings (gift from L).

Wardrobe Challenge - 1 Skirt, 3 Ways - Day #1

I do love a challenge! This is Jane of Workthatwardrobe's latest challenge: to wear one skirt three different ways. I didn't see her post about the 2 week span until this morning, and I'd already gone and planned all three outfits last night...so I will be doing all three this week!

I'm going with my current favourite skirt: the Heather skirt (named after my generous co-worker who gave it to me, bless her heart). Reason: it's a neutral (brown with a thin black pencil stripe and fine texture) and it's a classic shape (pencil skirt).

Easy to match stuff with it:
That pose makes it look like I have no bum. Ha! Oh well.

I wanted to play up the black pinstripe in the skirt and mix black and brown, then pop them both with a bright colour: blue. Add a funky neckace, brown fishnets and my fab Fluevog Listen Up! Ivanna shoes, and I'm ready to go.

The stuff:

I felt very professional yet still chic and a bit edgy for work.

Suit jacket (Max Studio), top (Oxmo), skirt (Suzy Shier, gift from Heather), belt (Bianca Nygard), shoes (Fluevogs), necklace (Plum), crystal stud earrings).

Special Occasion - Cat's Birthday (and Guest)

Friday night was Cat's birthday, so a bunch of us Winesday gals and our hubbies and a couple of Cat's friends gathered for some Jamaican food (yum!).

Of course, I had to get dressed up! It's kind of hard to tell because of the dark colours, but the black dress is tied in a bow at the waist. I've never worn this dress and frankly, I'm not sure why. It fits perfectly, has a classic Audrey shape and cut and duh, it's an LBD!

Edited to add some pictures of the boots, dress and hat after the fact.
I've also never worn these boots! They are dark blood red. For some reason when I bought them (about 2 years ago), it didn't seem appropriate to wear them, but fashions have changed and dang! I need to wear these more!
This is my "flower pot" hat. It stays on my head with an elastic and there's a pouf of feathers that sprout out the top (makes for tight quarters in a cab). I found it at a consignment/second-hand store for $24 about 9 years ago. I haven't worn it in years! It's definitely vintage.
Here's my special guest: the lovely Caro! Looking tres foxy in her asymmetrical hem t-shirt dress and fab boots.

Giving some love: Aw!

My funky martini purse:

and my jewelry:

Hope your weekend is going swell!

Dress (Esprit), hat (no label, consignment), boots (Aldo), earrings (?, gift from Mom), ring (Melanie Lynne), purse (Sterling Shoes).