Monday, October 6, 2008

Wandering Blind...or My Adventure in the Mall

On Saturday, I went to the mall downtown to do some lingerie shopping. As I was coming out of the fitting room, I took off my glasses to polish them and...they broke in half.

First, I kind of just sat them on my nose, and for about 2 seconds, I thought, "I can do this." Of course, they fell off and I was blind.

I can see about 8 inches before things get fuzzy. With no glasses at all, my world is full of fuzzy colour and shapes. I can recognize landmarks and read very large signs, but I can't see people's faces or expressions - and I can't tell them apart. I also have no depth perception.

Determined not to panic, I went downstairs to the LensCrafters in the mall - maybe some glue? a pin? to hold the frames together until I can figure out what to do. No, sorry, they can't help me. If I can get my prescription, they can whip me up a pair - in about an hour! The lovely gay man helping me was so sweet - he could see that I was getting upset, so he steered me to the optometrist.

"Go get your prescription," he said soothingly (as I had actually gotten my eyes checked at This Very Optometrist in the mall), "and I'll fix you right up, honey."

But no. The Evil Optometrist would not only NOT give me my prescription (as it was 3 years old), but they would not even fit me in for an emergency appointment! At this point, I started to become teary. "The soonest we can fit you in is Monday," said the unhelpful harpy at the desk, not swayed by my tears.

It was then that I became irrational. I shall continue to shop, I thought. I'll go back and buy the lingerie I'd already picked out. I actually managed to find the bras that I'd left behind, but the tables of panties were beyond me. I had to get so close to see the texture and sizes that I'm sure I traumatized a few shoppers.

Back to the Evil Optometrist's office. Tears welled up as I pleaded for them to fit me in. "But I'm blind!" I wailed. The harpy's heart could not be turned.

Back to the sympathetic lad at LensCrafters, who gave me a Kleenex and steered me to another optometrist...outside the mall. It is a scary thing to be wandering the streets of any city, even one you are very familiar with, when you can't see anything but fuzzy blobs of colour.

The Wonderful Optometrist had me in and out in 10 minutes (and $75 later, thanks) with my prescription, and back I went to my LensCrafter Knight who steered me over to the $99 frame section, whispered, "I'll get you a deal on the lenses," and gave me a candy.

An hour later...
I don't love them, but they are better than being blind. I'll go get another funkier pair once I've paid these off.

New glasses (Brooks Brothers).


  1. Oh Honey, I can't believe they couldn't fit you in. Geez, you'd think with an emergency like that. It's never any fun to buy glasses in a rush. Your new ones are cute, but I totally understand wanting a fun and funky pair. Now, back to having a fun birthday week! Have a happy B-day tomorrow.

  2. I tried hard not to laugh at your story, but i did, you're too funny!Your determination to shop while blind broke my resolve. Your new glasses are actually nice! :-D

  3. These will be my Serious Glasses, and my next ones will be my Wacky Specs.

    It's okay to laugh - I did...afterwards.

    Thanks, ladies!


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