Monday, February 22, 2010

Lazy Monday - Screw You, Anonymous

Lazy Monday means a dress! I haven't worn this one for a long time - the last time I did, I got the following comment:

Flattering maybe, but not for a young woman. It's mostly dull looking. No color, no pattern, no interesting design. The dress could go on mom, grandma or great grandma and get the same response.You're too young to dress like great grandma! Liven up your look girl!

Of course, it was an anonymous comment (and may have been influenced by my poor photography skills). And I don't see Anonymous posting pictures of his/her clothes. Still, the comment rankled.


Heh, you Brits will know what my hand gesture means (hint: it's not "two" or "peace").


I know I shouldn't take it personally, but would you say that to someone's face?

Edit: Let me clarify, my own "screw you" in the title is in the spirit of sauciness (I swear a lot in real life). It's been nearly a year since I had that comment and I'm not trying to dictate how people should comment or that they should only say positive things (I love getting comments, good and bad and crazy!). I've reconciled my own reactionary feelings about being "slammed" (which is what it felt like to me), although that may not have been the original intent behind it, and I feel confident that I like this dress and screw what anyone else thinks.

I wore it with a belt today, covering up the waist detail, which I also like:

This is one of the few all-grey items I own - the pinstripe in it is a faint pale blue. I love the 50s look of the collar, the perfect length and the classic cut. I actually debated getting rid of this after that comment.

But my whole outfit was focused on the new Tsubos I got on the weekend.
Aren't they fab?

Here's a close-up of these suede and patent leather beauties:

There's nearly a 1" hidden platform in the front, and the heel - although it measures 4" from the back - is NOT 4 inches. The heel of your foot sinks down nearly 1/2" with all the cushioning, making these barely 3 inches. And comfy?? Wow, amazing.

I love the wide sling-back of them - just a peep of my tights shows below it. They were $100 on sale ($50 off!) and worth every penny. Shout out to Susie at the Cobbler! Your store rules (and I've been shopping there for over 25 years)!

Heh, L hates these shoes - he prefers a classic 80s pointy-toed stiletto shoe.

Anyway, let's settle this:
The dress:
You're so right - it's fab!
Eh, it's okay. Doesn't ring my bell.
Sorry, I've got to agree: granny dress!
I'd rather look at the shoes.
pollcode.com free polls
Dress (Le Chateau), tights (can't remember), shoes (Tsubo), leather belt (some shop in Times Square, NYC), earrings (don't recall), bracelet (The Cobbler).

23 comments:

  1. It's a fabulous dress!!! I do say it does look better in the more recent pictures, but there's nothing wrong with the previous one either! D= I love the structured dress on you.

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  2. God, that is LAME. I can only attribute it to envy.

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  3. It's fab. Love the comment thought the "you are far too young..."

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  4. i tried to post already... sorry if you get multiple ones; my internet is being dumb (just delete the repeat).






    gah!!!
    i am instituting an internet-wide new rule:
    read everything 4 times, imagining it in the nicest tone of voice, said by a close friend, who is smiling at you. yes there are still trolls out there, and drive-by nasty commenting on blogs, but i think there is a shitton of stuff that is not meant to be mean, but is interpreted that way.


    (they've done studies on how much tone gets through in an email... and it's incredible, the disparity between what a writer means and what a reader gets)


    my point is...
    i don't think this comment was meant in a mean way. (i could be wrong; it's happened before).
    maybe the person meant:
    after reading your blog every day, seeing your outfits and reading your posts has made you seem sort of familiar to me (even though we both know the reverse is not true). and i consider you to be an interesting lively sort of person, in particular, someone who's fashion is lively. and i just don't think this outfit reflects that. your other outfits are way awesome-er.

    (i really do think that was the gist: try to read "liven up your look girl" several ways. in a condescending way, and then in a playful, punch-on-the-shoulder said-with-a-smile sort of way... also, she/he started out by saying it was flattering)


    except i don't think your readers should have to hide a suggestion amid a bunch of flattery just to avoid having you title your post "screw you anonymous"



    sigh.

    i just feel like the person wasn't trying to be mean, and your response was a bit snarky and escalated and defensive. (or maybe it wasn't... maybe i should try reading the post four times and imagine you smiling!)
    and the internet seems to be a breeding ground for situations like that
    and it makes me sad
    and there just seems to me to be enough conflict in this world without us manufacturing more because the words came out wrong when they were unaccompanied by body language.



    so yeah... my feeble defense of a (possibly) misunderstood commenter

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  5. Ugh, what a ridiculous comment. That dress is fab, and you look hot in in! And HOORAY for Tsubo Acreas! Are they not the most comfy heels you've ever worn?

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  6. What's wrong with people that they won't leave a comment like that under their name. If I was so offended by someone's outfit, I'd either not comment or if I felt compelled to give advice, comment nicely under my own name. It's the anonymous part that makes it feel snarkier.

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  7. WHATEVER. I happen to like all grey/all black combos. And that dress FITS you. It says "Hey there, I'm SEXY" but in a subtle, classy way.

    I dig it.

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  8. Just voted for "fab". I love this dress! The style is... didn't you have a "sexy librarian" label? There you go. If Anon doesn't like it, she can wear whatever "lively" clothes that tickles her fancy!

    People take themselves too seriously sometimes!

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  9. Thanks, Ecc3! I agree, but I also liked the other outfit (I had a broken toe, was hanging out with older folks and didn't feel like making much effort).

    Jane W., thanks!

    Thanks, Jane. Yes, I laughed at that, since technically, I could be a grandmother at my age!

    emily, I appreciate your post, and you obviously have strong feelings on the topic.

    I know there's been a lot of talk around the internet lately about comments and bloggers trying to tell readers how to comment, but I honestly am not doing that, just riffing on a silly comment that I got nearly a year ago (as I stated in the post). I do understand that written communication lacks the nuance of speech and face-to-face communications (I am a writer and I have a degree in linguistics). :)

    I do, however, feel that the comment was snarky, as the anonymous person posted it over 2 weeks after I wore the outfit - and didn't comment on any other outfit...just singled that one out. At the time, yes, it bothered me - they had no comment at all about anything else, just this one outfit that they didn't like. It was just negative, you know? Like, why bother?

    And please don't jump to the conclusion that my humourously intended "Screw you" a year later was meant to try to crack down on my readers (for whom I am grateful!) - it was aimed at one anonymous person (much as you actually are, since you have no profile or blog linked to your name). Anyway, I'm not going to get further into this with you, because your own response is reactionary and you've jumped to unwarranted conclusions. Thanks for commenting! :)

    Sal, thanks, aren't Tsubos amazing? I am a convert! Your own pairs are what made me consider these - they always look so good on you.

    RiAnge, I sure can!

    Wendy, I agree. The anonymity is just an excuse to say something you haven't got the guts to say in person.

    Erin, totally! I dig it too.

    Tanya, aw, thanks, sweetie. Exactly! Heh, including me!

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  10. Well I happen to think its a fab dress - and it really suits you - so yeah two fingered salute (as a brit i know what action you were going for ;))

    And those shoes are to die for :D

    CC xXx

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  11. Yes, I'm late. Playing blog catch-up. The dress is wonderful and looks great on you. I could see adding a huge peony pin or maybe a violet scarf as a belt for a bit of color - but how you have it accessorized is just as lovely.

    Maybe Anon was hoping with his/her comment it would go in a swap pile because they were secretly coveting the dress!!! Hmmm, there's a thought.

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  12. Just seeing this now. For whatever it's worth, commenting seems to be a really really really really touchy subject. I don't know. i feel like I get burned when I post my opinion, but I can see both sides of the coin. It is, after all, someone's right to leave a comment if you leave your blog open to commentors. It's also your right to slam them back in your next post. I think sometimes commentors WANT to get a rise out of you, to see what you'll say or do about what they've said. Similarly, I think sometimes people just don't think about what they're doing and assume the internet isn't real life, which of course it isn't. But it also is.

    Sometimes even constructive comments hurt my feelings and a lot of those times I know it's just because I'm being sensitive. I want to use my blog to get over those feelings, or at least learn to deal with them better. I recognize that by making my persona public, I relinquish control over what what strangers think of me. But that's not something we ever control anyway; the internet just opens things up a bit.

    I like this dress. It's sexy. It's not too old for you, or too boring. You don't have to be flashy every day, and you certainly don't have to be flashy to be sexy. So that's my opinion on the dress. :) And comments.

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  13. Thanks, Candycane!

    No prob, LaShaune - I often can't get to other blogs very regularly. Thanks very much for the suggestions - I have the perfect flower pin! Ha! I bet you're right!

    Julia, no kidding - and here I am, nearly a year later...not exactly slamming in the next post, either. I don't mind suggestions or constructive comments - and I think my own comments are often much more negative than those of the commenters.

    But I do think that people dash off a comment without thinking how the blogger is going to take it (I know I'm guilty of that - and I apologize if I've every hurt your feelings that way!). They forget about it, but we remember it forever.

    I think this will be the last time I address a negative comment, that's for sure. Man, brings out the vitriol, doesn't it?

    Thanks so much for your comment, as always, m'dear. :)

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  14. Oh, that horrible Anonymous, leaving nasty comments and then not having the guts to own up to them! Anyway, Anonymous is off his/her rocker; that dress is HOT! It's figure-flattering and well proportioned, and the little peter pan collar and pinstripes scream sexy secretary in the best possible way. Screw you, Anonymous!

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  15. Audi, thanks very much. I knew you would appreciate this (and understand my intent).

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  16. That dress is awesome and anyone who doesn't think so is insane.

    Although I do see Emily's point about maybe the commenter not intending to be mean. But they should have signed their name if they were offering constructive criticism; otherwise it looks like they want to insult you but don't want you to know who is saying it.

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  17. Thanks, Kristen. I also see Emily's point, however, I agree with you - and the comment came on just the one outfit WEEKS after I'd worn it!

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  18. The shoes are amazing! I have them in camel. I adore them.

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  19. Kiki, thanks very much for commenting. I love those shoes too!

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  20. Your pose really made me smile today. I've always found that particular hand gesture amusing. I love how the same thing can be expressed differently in different cultures.

    I LOVE the dress. And your attiturde about comments.

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  21. I'm 24 years old and I could fall in love with you right away! Really sexy!

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