Request: How Do I Spice Up My Man's Look for a Special Occasion?

From Alison:

I have a wedding to go to the end of May. My hubby, I'm having a hard time with.

You mentioned that you have been able to influence your hubby into the "Decadent Rock Star" look. My hubby is pretty pliable and will mostly let me dress him how ever I want, but I'd like to add a little edge to his dressed up look. I'm just at a loss. Have you seen the show Dirty Jobs with Mike Rowe? He pretty much dresses like him. Dickie's carpenter jeans and t-shirts. Well, hello, Mike Rowe! Aren't you a handsome fellow? Even if you are a little dirty.

I've met guys who are very rigid in their "style" and it can be pretty scary. Alison, you're lucky that your man is flexible - that's going to make this a whole lot easier.

First, let me say that the most appropriate thing to wear to a wedding for a guy is a suit. Always. However, I realize that a lot of guys don't a) own a suit b) don't want to go to the expense of getting a suit that they aren't going to wear very often c) have a suit but it doesn't fit or d) just don't feel comfortable in a suit.

For me, the absolute best thing for my husband to wear is what he's most comfortable in, but is also something he looks good in. For a lot of guys, that's a hard thing to figure out. If you're stressing out about getting him to dress up, just stop. It will take baby steps, and you might only get him to wear one piece at a time until he gets used to it.

I have two Rock Star looks that I've managed to get my husband to wear regularly: one is casual and one is dressy. The dressy one will work for most weddings, unless they are super formal (i.e. big cathedral, a zillion bridesmaids)...and in that case, bite the bullet and rent a suit instead of buying. The bride will thank you.

L wears a suit every day to work, so he's got that look nailed, no problem. My problem was that his casual wear tended to be limited to sports teams, and his dressy look was ill-fitting jeans with a shirt and tie. I've been fortunate in that L will actually wear stuff that I buy him, and listen to me when I suggest outfits.

Casual Rock Star

The Jeans: I prefer a dark wash, either blue, black or brown. Same rules as for women's jeans: avoid the big fades and tapered legs. Keep it to a straight leg or a slim leg (guys who are on the slim side look awesome in skinny jeans).

The Shoes: He'll need a decent pair of shoes with a bit of personality. I look for something with colour or a stylish detail. You can go more sporty (Vans) or more rock, or even a Doc Martens shoe. NOT SNEAKERS.I found these Leather Island skull shoes on clearance for about $40 - the skulls are highlighted with mini studs. The orange and blue are Fluevogs (D.O.G. Disciples of God), from the sample sale last year.

The T-shirt: Most guys have a drawer full of band t-shirts or free t-shirts they've gotten from god knows where. Go through the drawer and look for tees with a design that is intricate or framed centrally on the chest. L now specifically looks for designs like this when he shops, to incorporate into future outfits.
The KISS Army shirt, Judas Priest tour shirt and Rush tour shirt. All of these particular designs were chosen as the most aesthetically pleasing.

MTV rock tee (bought by me in NYC), a Cardboard Robot t-shirt with Halfway House angels (used to be mine when I was heavy).

The Shirt: The man probably has a few button down shirts already. For casual, you want shirts with personality or flair to them. The bowling shirt or Hawaiian shirt style can work really well with the casual look.
L's short-sleeved shirts: black satin with red Chinese dragons, flaming skulls, red satin with skully and crossbones, Hawaiian shirt with Boston Bruins logos. The three on the left were all bought in those skateboard shops; the Boston shirt is from a sports clothing store.

Short sleeve shirts can work well in the summertime, with or without the jacket. The shirt is worn open over the t-shirt. This creates a long line visually (good if your man has a bit of a tummy that he might be self-conscious about).

The Jacket: The key look to finishing this outfit is the jacket. Look for something with texture: velvet, plaid or a pinstripe. NO DENIM.
A cotton plaid blazer I found for $19.99 on the left (I love the pink pajama lining, and the thin red stripe in the brown plaid). The chocolate brown velvet pinstripe blazer on the right is from Guess ($49.99 on the clearance rack).

Your man can take the jacket off if he gets warm, and the casual look will still work fine.

The Accessories: A lot of guys resist accessorizing as they think it makes them look less manly, but you can work around this. Buy steel or silver for jewelry pieces and keep them simple. If he won't go for a necklace, try a cuff-style bracelet or ID bracelet. A funky ring often will appeal (especially skulls or that tribal type of design). If your guy is daring, a hat (a porkpie or small-brimmed grandpa hat) looks very funky in the spring/summer.

But the best accessory for most guys is a belt. L has two leather belts with removeable buckles. Once you have a couple of good quality leather belts, new buckles make great gifts.
The skull belt is from Le Chateau ($19.99), the lady buckle is from Metro Wear in San Francisco.

Here's L doing casual for a day out shopping.
Sorry, it's dark (hotel room lighting). He's doing the Judas Priest t-shirt, with a long-sleeved burgundy textured dress shirt, with the brown velvet Guess blazer. The jeans are a dark brown wash.

Decadent Rock Star (aka the dressy look)

If your man's not too sure about this look, keep it really simple. L has had 13+ years of me working on him and filling out his wardrobe; he's also very open to being "out there" with his own look. Work within the comfort limits of your guy.

The Shoes: You really want to go to town on a cool pair of shoes. I personally prefer something with a fairly pointy toe for that old-school punk look. Look for details, like crackled leather, embroidery or elaborate stitching. Splurge and buy him a good quality shoe that is comfortable. Unlike women, guys will not wear a shoe that hurts or rubs, and since this will be his "go to" shoe for most special occasions, you may as well get him a nice pair. He deserves it.
On the left, Robert Wayne (from Town Shoes) copper with black crackle finish and embroidery. In the middle, Fluevog red "Iggy" (just purchased this weekend!), with very stylin' leatherwork and stitching. On the right, another pair of Robert Waynes (from DSW clearance rack), with funky teal leather and lime croc detailing.

The Fluevogs that L wore all weekend (you can see how much he loves these and wears them). Nice shape and contrast stitching in a classic black.

The Pants: The look needs dress pant with an edge, like a pinstripe pant, or a pant with some texture (like a tux pant or even a pair of cords, as long as they don't look too casual - think thin-wale, not wide-wale).

These are L's pinstripe velvet black cords. They work well with either casual or dressy.

The T-shirt: Don't do the t-shirt with this look, although if it's cold, he can wear the same t-shirt as with the casual look - except he will be the only one who knows he's got his favourite band on underneath...

The Shirt: Again, details are the key. Embroidery, trim, French cuffs, shiny texture, a gothy design: these are what you are looking for. If your man's a little more country than rock 'n' roll, those cowboy shirts with the snaps come in dressier designs, but keep in mind that you want more of a vintage vibe than an authentic Western look.

From left: Hart Schaffner Marx floral/striped shirt (vintage, $49, purchased this weekend), embroidered knight on pinstripe (English Laundry), black Western-style with pearl snaps and embroidery stripe (Le Chateau), Robert Graham floral shirt, shiny cerulean blue shirt with shiny stripes (Le Chateau).

The Jacket: Think Sinatra, think Mick Jagger in the 60s, think Dave Navarro (yummy), think cool, decadent and a little over the edge. Velvet, brocade or a jacket with details like studs or metal buttons. You can use the same jacket as with the casual look, but only if it is a good quality fabric (not a thin cotton jacket).

On the left, vintage Mexx ($55, bought this weekend), grey with tan pinstripe. On the right, English Laundry "Rock Star" jacket, chocolate brown with black suede trim and brass studs.

The Accessories: The same belt/buckle will work fine, but the accessories should be punched up a bit (go to 11!). If the shirt has French cuffs, look in vintage stores for some jewelled cufflinks. A pinky ring, a neck chain, even a pin on the lapel of the jacket; these will all give his outfit the pizzazz he needs to feel like he is on the red carpet.
Here, L's doing a ruffled vintage tux shirt (it has French cuffs, and he's wearing a rhinestone square cufflink), his patterned leather belt and celtic knot belt buckle.

My chainmail necklace (handmade), a steel and rhinestone dress ring, and of course, the wedding ring.

Here's the whole Decadent Rock Star look put together:
L's doing a striped dress pant with this - it is black with a light brown and tan irregular stripe (close up above in the shoe picture). He's wearing the same chocolate brown velvet Guess blazer as he did for the casual look.

To give you a shopping list of the basics, in order of things your man needs the most to pull off the Decadent Rock Star look for a wedding:

- a good quality pair of funky dressy shoes. Black is the best colour to start with.

- a good blazer in a nice texture/material. If his favourite colour is blue, look for blue.

- a leather belt with an interesting buckle. Go with black for the belt, and let him pick the buckle (even if you hate it, see above pink lady buckle).

- a button down shirt with a pattern or texture. Steer him away from suit-y type shirts and look for a colour he might not otherwise do, like teal or purple. Keep the colour dark - really bright colours will scare him.

Advice:

- Compliment him. "Mmmm...you look sexy in that jacket." or "Wow, those shoes totally rock!" or "Honey, you look like a rock star!" He will feel insecure about wearing things outside of his comfort zone, so you need to really let him know that he looks good in them. He also needs a couple of come-back lines in case his friends ask him. "This is my rock star look" is a good one.

- Put together outfits for him when you buy him a new piece. L didn't like the brown and red plaid jacket above until I showed him what to wear with it (eg. your Rush t-shirt, the knight shirt, your brown jeans, and your embroidered shoes).

- Ask him to trust you and just try it on. Many guys just can't picture how things will look together until they see them on. You need to point out things to him, like, "This jacket makes your shoulders look really broad. This shirt brings out the colour in your eyes. These pants make your butt look good." (heh, don't forget to give his tush a squeeze)

- Explain why certain things go together. We women tend to forget that we have all this background on texture, fabric and style accumulated from years of fashion magazines. Explain to him that these things all go together because all of these colours are in the shirt's pattern, or that you're using the texture (velvet, shiny, etc.) to make the outfit more visually interesting. L is a big-picture guy - he totally didn't clue into the details until I pointed them out.

Well, there you have it! I hope this was fun and helps you figure out how to get your husband to dress up for the wedding, Alison! Let me know how it goes!

Request #4 - Leigh-Anna - How Did I Transition from Being a Metal-Chick?

Question from Leigh-Anna: How did you transition from a metalhead of yore to the stylish fashionista you are today? What was the catalyst for your change? Do you ever regret changing or wish you could go back?

Short answer: I didn't.

Grade 8 (1980-81).

Nice perm! Big glasses, non-pierced ears, no make-up and dig that plaid shirt. Dude!

Long answer: Firstly, I'll apologize for not having pictures of my metal bad-ass self from way back in the day, but my photo albums are in storage. My lovely annual pictures will have to slake your thirst for old pictures of me.

A bit of background. In the 90s, I lived with a dude who was in a thrash metal band (think Metallica before the black album, very fast, loud metal), so as most people do when they live together, I picked up a lot of his tastes in music. However, as much of a metal chick as I was in my musical tastes, I did not dress like a metal chick.

Grade 9 (1981-82).

Got that nice sausage curl going down either side of my face, and the groovy new aviator glasses. Strange obsession with boucle turtlenecks begins.

You see, I have the smartest mom ever.

When I was about 16 (way back in 1983, oy), I started to experiment with my look. I'd rummage through Mom's (and Dad's) closets for whatever I could wear. This is the period when I snagged a bunch of Mom's jewelry (Hi, Mom!). My mom, seeing that I was about to go all crazy with my clothing, gave me 2 rules:

1. No black nail polish.

2. Never, ever get stuck in a rut. Wear whatever you want, but change it up every day.

Grade 10 (1982-83).

The obsession with boucle turtlenecks continues. Make-up is discovered. Feathered hair is in! Discovering I wanted to be crazy was a breaking point. Schrader was the algebra teacher. Yes, I was into rainbows. And unicorns.

And now that I think of it, I never did wear black nail polish. I dunno, it just doesn't rock my world. I'd rather wear midnight blue or a deep burgundy.

But it was Rule #2 that really hit home for me.

Did I want to be labeled like so many of the other kids? Did I want to be a prep? A stoner? A jock? Hell, which one of "The Breakfast Club" was I?? [Okay, I wanted to be Molly Ringwald, duh, dumb question].

Once I started really playing with my look (oh, how I wish I had some pictures of some of my high school outfits to show you), I realized I could play with how people perceived me. Did I want them to think I was smart? Wear a preppy outfit! Did I want them to think I was a rich eccentric? Wear Mom's fur-trimmed coat with elbow-length gloves and a long skirt (yes, I wore this to high school)!

Grade 11 (high school, 1983-84).

Return of the perm. Contacts are acquired. Rockin' the green ruffled-front cotton blouse (man, that was a pain to iron).

When I figured that out - the whole perceptions thing - then I started to see how I could really have fun messing with people. Do you know how fun it is to be dressed very English Lady in tweed and pumps, and then reveal that you had various fake bodily fluids sprayed on you at a Gwar concert? Oh, the looks you get!

I still like to bring out bits of the headbanger in my clothes: I have a chainmail necklace, a black and silver grommet belt, and a couple of other accessories, but I never did the full-on metal chick in my clothing. It was way more fun to go to gigs and NOT look like everyone else there.

Grade 12 (1984-85).

I discover mousse, and am sporting a double "tail". If I weren't covered up by the stupid grad gown, you'd see some wacky 80s clothes "fer shur!"

I've never dressed to follow fashion - I firmly believe that fashion is there for picking and choosing what looks good on you, to help you develop your own style.

And remember Mom's Rule: Change what you wear every day! Don't get stuck in a rut!

Cheers,

Sheila

PS - Back to the regular daily wear posts tomorrow! It's been a slice - thanks for all the great questions!

Request #3 - My Shenanigans - How Did I Lose Weight and Manage to Keep it Off?

Question from My Shenanigans: I was wondering how you lost so much weight, but more importantly how you've managed to keep it off.

Short answer: Yeah, right. If I had a short answer, I'd be rich!

Long answer: It was a lot of work.

Two and a half years ago I was close to 200 pounds - on a 5'4" small frame, that is a lot of weight! My dad died at the age of 55 of a heart attack, so I was aware of high cholestrol and heart problems in my family. Dad was an ultra-marathoner (30+ miles per race, up to 100 miles in a go), but he didn't eat properly.

I've always been okay with dressing my body no matter what shape it was (and I was skinny as a kid, but had problems with my weight starting in my 20s). But my poor husband would often find me crying in my closet before a special occasion: I felt horrible in everything I owned, I hated myself for letting me get to this point. I didn't love my body.

June 2006: And believe me, I am sucking in everything possible in this picture (sorry it's fuzzy, I'm taking pictures of pictures). That's a size 14 dress I have squeezed myself into.

A coworker was on Weight Watchers and I watched her lose a couple of pounds each week. I asked her a lot of questions about the program and how workable it was (I'm supremely lazy and unmotivated). I thought, "Gosh, that doesn't seem too bad. I think I could do that."

In August 2006, my work organized a "Weight Watchers at Work" program and I signed up. I bought a treadmill so that I could walk without anyone seeing me (the only workout clothes that fit me were men's). I lost really slowly, never more than 2 pounds in a week, but I stuck to it and I started to notice my clothes were getting large. I was fitting into some of my old clothes!

End of September, 2006:It had been 2 years since I'd fit into this dress! I was ecstatic! That's a size 12! I was starting to feel better about myself, but I still hadn't set a weight goal. My goal was to walk into Dots (a local chain that sells off sample sizes, mostly size 8s) and be able to buy the sample sizes.

By this time, I was going great on the treadmill, but it was So Boring. One day, I wondered how long it would take me to walk to work. I normally took the bus: leave the house at 7:55am, get to work at 8:25am. So I packed my shoes and hoofed it all the way to work. I left at 7:50 and I arrived at...8:30! Only 10 more minutes and I get 40 minutes of exercise? I'm in!

I started walking to work Monday to Thursday (Friday has always been No Exercise Day, because I need a day off), which is my main workout, even now. I get 80+ minutes 4 days a week, then do a 1-hour walk on Saturdays. Sometimes on Sundays I go for a walk, depends. Sometimes I go shopping! That counts as exercise!

Christmas 2006:
I bought this lovely dress in late October - it was the smallest size I could barely zip up: a size 10. By Christmas, as you can see, it was too big. Thank goodness for the straps! I wouldn't have stayed up on its own!

I was feeling pretty good at this weight, a lot more like myself, but I felt like I was not quite there yet. I started thinking about the marathon in October 2007. One of my personal goals had always been "Do a Marathon Before I'm 40". In October 2007, I would turn 40. Could I do it?

February 2007: Valentine's Day, actually. I'm dressed up for night out with my sweetie. I have to say, my husband was my staunchest supported all through this. He never complained about our new dinners (gone were the days of Mac & Cheese, or heavily processed packaged frozen dinners), the salads, the stir-frys. He continuously complimented me, and reminded me why I was losing weight: for myself. He wanted me to be happier, and to feel better about my health.

Anyway, the clothes in the above picture are too big! I was frantically trying to buy cheap and inexpensive clothes to fill the massive holes in my wardrobe. Even dropping from a 16 to a 10 meant that most of my clothes were falling off me. Literally: I was walking to the bus stop one day (on a day when I didn't walk to work), and my skirt fell around my ankles! So embarassing!

Around this time, I decided on my goal weight: I would lose 50 pounds total (okay, I wanted the magnet that WW gave you then).

Late March 2007: My goal weight picture! I felt so amazing...but then, Maintenance! I was in heavy training for the marathon by this time, putting in lots of hours walking and working on my technique (I race-walk). I went into the maintenance phase of WW (yay! More food!) and shopped to fill up my wardrobe. Oh, those were heady days!

October 7, 2007:
It's 5am and I am barely awake, but I did it. I did the marathon. All 26.2 miles of it, and I did it under my goal of 6 hours!

But maintaining my weight is really hard. I stay motivated by going to WW meetings every Saturday morning. It inspires me to see these women (it's mostly women) really wanting to make this change in their lives, and I hope I can inspire them by showing them: yes! You can do it! I did it and you can too! I've dropped another 8-10 pounds since I hit Goal - it varies - and I try to stay around the 60 pounds gone mark. It's where I feel most comfortable...and I still have curves!

I also get weighed every meeting (I don't own a scale), so I know when I need to smarten up and eat more veggies or walk more. I actually lost a pound over Christmas this year.

I'm also motivated by...my clothes! I have all these clothes and I need to stay in them! No more letting the weight creep up on me.

The best thing about losing the weight has been the ripple effect it's had in other areas of my life. If I can put my mind to it and lose 50 pounds AND do a marathon, what else can I do? I now try to do things that challenge me: I joined Toastmasters last year to improve my leadership skills and my public speaking; I took an art class and do a painting drop-in; I just started aikido (oh man, it's hard!). I know there is no limit to what I can do if I really want it.

Advice if you want to lose weight:

- Do it for yourself. Do it because YOU really want to lose weight. Not because your husband/boyfriend wants you to, or because you think you "should." You will have the biggest, longest-lasting success if you do it for you. You need to reach that point where you can put yourself first (for a change, for most of us!) and say, "I deserve this, for myself." That's a huge emotional turning point.

- Whatever system or program you use, make sure it is sustainable in Real Life. You can't keep weight off if you are relying on pre-packaged, processed frozen food. It might work in the short-term, but you are going to have to re-learn how to grocery shop, how to cook, and how to treat food as a fuel, not a comfort or a reward. It is a lifestyle change that you have to make, and you cannot go back to your old life. Sometimes I really miss that...eating whatever I wanted...but then I remember how unhappy I was with myself.

- Exercise. You might be able to lose weight through diet alone, but you won't keep it off if you don't make exercise part of your life. I walked. That's all, just slow walks at first. I still walk. It's still my main exercise. It only requires good running shoes. Whatever exercise you choose, make sure you integrate it into your life; plan it into your day. The more you do it, the better you will feel. I used to deal with depression, mood swings, and insomnia. I still have my moments, but most of that is gone. No medication. Just walking and moving my body.

- Set a goal. Do you want to walk the 10K? Do you want to have the doctor be astonished next time he checks your blood pressure? Spell out your goal and the small steps it will take to get you there. It's got to be concrete (not "I want to be thin") and you have to set mini-goals that are achievable.

- Reward yourself - not with food! Every time I lost 10 pounds, I bought myself a new item of clothing (only shoes for the 1st 30 pounds). Every time I wore them, I said, "These are my 20 pound shoes!" I still have my 50 Pound Dress.

- Don't deprive yourself. If you really want chocolate, have some...a very small bit of the best chocolate you can get. I have not given up a single thing that I used to eat, including Subway, candy, pizza, alcohol, chocolate, chips/crisps. I just don't eat as much as I used to, and I don't eat them as frequently. If you cut a major food group or even a minor food group (like chocolate, ha) out of your diet, you will eventually rebound and overdo it. And then you'll feel like a failure and want to give up. And that's no good.

- Don't beat yourself up. If you are "bad" one day, start fresh the next day. One day isn't going to kill you - but beating yourself up for days, then going back to bad habits, very well might. Every Saturday is my "free day" - I can eat anything I want on Saturday (because I weigh in on Sat morning, then start my WW week on Sunday) and not feel guilty at all. I might have a bottle of wine and a bag of chips! I really look forward to it all week, but I know that as of Sunday, I'm back on track.

It took me a long time to get to the point where I could say truthfully, "I really want to lose weight and keep it off. I want to change my life."

If you want it, do it. Just do it. You deserve it.

Cheers,

Sheila

Request #2 - Katie - How to Accessorize an Outfit

Question from Katie:

What's a good "rule of thumb" for accessory matching such as belts, shoes, necklaces, bangles, etc...Belt to match shoes? Accessories to all match? etc.? I am trying to add more pizzaz to my outfits... and my first step was to try the "high waisted belt" look, and beyond that - I'm lost!

Short answer: Well, there isn't a magic "rule of thumb", unfortunately.

Long answer: Let's take 3 of your recent outfits, Katie, and accessorize them! I'm going to copy your outfits from my wardrobe (as best I can) and show you some options and explain along the way.

Outfit #1:

Differences: My sweater has a higher neckline and doesn't have the rose detail, and my long cardigan (black, not brown) and sweater have longer sleeves so they're bunched up. I'm also wearing higher heels since my brown pants are long. I look rather droopy and shapeless.

Your outfit: Your colours are excellent. Red and brown are awesome together - don't forget: brown is a neutral! It goes with everything! I love that you've pulled a pattern for your bag - that's a great first step to adding visual interest.

1. Your waist needs to be defined. I know you have a black soft belt, so try wearing that over the red top to help cut down on the wrinkliness of the top adding visual weight. You could also try it over the cardigan.

Belt over the red top.

Belt over the cardigan.

Note: Be careful with the positioning of wide belts, especially if you're booby (I am too, and I'm 3 inches shorter than you). Wear them lower, rather than higher or you will run the risk of looking pregnant.

2. You need jewelry. I see that you have a watch on, but if your sleeves are short, wear a bracelet or cuff. Earrings are standard for me, too. Your top doesn't require a necklace since it has a gorgeous neckline and that nice rose detail - but I would wear a necklace with mine, since the neckline is rather plain. You could do a more dangly earring to help draw the eye up.

Outfit #2:

Differences: I don't have a sparkly grey top, but I do have a grey cami with sparkle at the neckline. My black jacket is not quite the same shape. I'm wearing a rigid wide belt instead of a soft one. I feel very self-conscious about my boobs and tummy in this, and the jacket is making my shoulders look super-wide (I think I might need to consign it).

Your outfit: You are on the right track with adding sparkle, texture and trying to play with the shape of the outfit by doing the belt higher than your natural waist. Your red shoes would really pop in this colour combination!

1. Your top is not meant to have this much of it showing - treat it like a camisole and use it for layering underneath other items...like the white button-down shirts I know you love. Tuck the underneath layer into your pants - it's not doing you any favours by hitting right at the widest part of your hips.

2. If you're long-waisted, you have all kinds of acreage between your boobs and your hips, so accentuate it by wearing belts at your natural waist to create an hourglass. A thick belt works best when it's not cinching everything in, but sitting naturally over top of clothing that already accentuates your waist.

Also, a cropped jacket is not right for this particular look, as it accentuates the width of your hips - see how it's making an inverted V and drawing the eye downwards in your picture? Look for a classic fitted suit jacket that stops just above the hip; make sure it's fitted in the waist to really give you that "dip" along your sides. Your legs will look miles longer and you will look sleeker overall.

3. Add another layer (the white shirt), and add a necklace to draw the eye up. Now, I'm not a white shirt fan since I hate ironing (please ignore the wrinkles in the picture), but I'll admit they look classy and professional and they are excellent for layering. This will make you look longer and sleeker. Adding a short necklace (mine is vintage - start scouring the thrift stores!) will draw the eye up to your lovely face.

Without a belt.

Wide belt added over the jacket.

Outfit #3:

Differences: Not sure what shoes you have on. I'm wearing a black turtleneck with the sleeves scrunched up.

Your outfit: Two classics (grey pants and navy top) that are excellent wardrobe pieces on their own, but when paired together are just a big ol' blah. You're doing really well with finding classic pieces, but are struggling a bit with finding ways to really make them reflect your personality. You felt very Audrey in this, which I love (who doesn't love Audrey Hepburn?), so play that up.

Here are a couple of options for this outfit:

Add a scarf, a bangle, earrings and do a coloured shoe. I've tied the scarf so that the ends hang down in front (yes, this does obscure the buttons on your shirt, but really, they're just navy plastic buttons). Any coloured shoe would add some zip to this outfit - either your red or your green would look amazing. Put the ends of the scarf hanging down your back - nothing like having a little "back interest"! A brooch at the neck would also look great.

Another look altogether to jazz up the top: Grey pencil skirt, red belt and black kitten heels, and a different bangle. This is still completely professional and an easy look to do. The belt adds a pop of colour - and notice that I'm keeping the belt slim for this look because of the top's length.

Overall suggestions for adding accessories:

- add a patterned shoe for creating instant visual interest (eg. leopard flats or pumps). The more coloured shoes, the better (I have over 8 pairs of red shoes/boots).

- belts: black (skinny (under 1"), medium (up to 2" and wide (over 2")), brown (medium), coloured (I like red or grey, in medium).

- necklaces: long: 1 silver and 1 gold, mixed with a coloured stone or bead, including black; short (not choker) detailed in silver or gold.

- bracelets: silver and gold medium bangles (less than 1"), cuffs in gold, black or silver. A charm-style bracelet with dangly bits (listen to how noisy it is before you buy).

- earrings: I like basic hoop shapes, but with nice details. Eg. filigree hoops, hammered texture, double hoops.

- brooches and pins: look for vintage.

More suggestions and thoughts welcome for adding accessories to outfits! Does anyone actually have a "rule of thumb"?

Cheers,

Sheila

Request #1 - Alison - How to Wear Summer Dresses & Skirts in the Winter?

Alison's question: How about utilizing summer dresses or skirts in the winter? I just picked up a cute shift dress in brown with a white outline banana leaf pattern. It's really cute but the leaf pattern seems summery to me.

Short Answer: Layers!

Long Answer: Although I try not to buy clothes that are strictly for one season, sometimes you just fall in love with an item that screams "summer!" Only problem, it's winter outside. What to do? The trick here is to accentuate the skirt part of a dress (or just the skirt, duh, if it's a summery skirt), and layer the top half to balance out the shoe (we'll get to that).

I have to make a couple of assumptions about Alison's dress (not having a picture): the brown is a medium tone (like a rich milk chocolate), the dress is sleeveless/has straps, the print is bold/large. Hope I'm close.

Edit: here's Alison's dress:
Wow, that is an awesome dress! I would totally own that dress...

Some suggestions/guidelines:

1. Underneath layer: Brown and white can be blah on their own, so start by layering a coloured long-sleeved thin t-shirt underneath. Look for a vibrant colour that's going to compliment the brown, like red, turquoise, orange or yellow or a kelly green. Since brown and white are both neutrals, you can add colour without looking too over-the-top.

With a medium brown, stay away from colours that are going to "muddy it up". Think of it this way: if you were in a dimly lit room, muddying colours are those that are going to be perceived as brown to the naked eye, like burgundy, dark blue, medium to dark purple, forest green, and black.

Also avoid light colours like cream, tan or white, as these will accentuate a more summery look - they'll work fine in the spring, but will not look appropriate for wintertime.

Eg. a long-sleeved red thin t-shirt with a medium scoop neck underneath.

2. Second layer: This could be a few things: a sweater vest, a button-up vest (waistcoat), a pullover low-necked sweater, or a cardigan. Something to cover most of the top of the dress, but still allow the pattern and part of your underneath layer to show through at the neckline. You want this layer to be a neutral - in the case of the brown/white dress, something in another brown tone. You are not looking for an exact match, here, although if you have something in that brown with texture, that would be great.

Eg. a camel ribbed thin cardigan, with the center 3 buttons done up (top one undone, bottom one undone).

3. Belt it: If you have a belt in the same colour family as your underneath layer t-shirt, that will work wonderfully for an extra pop of colour. If not, another neutral in the same tone family will work great. A belt with a nice buckle or some detailing on the belt itself will add visual interest.

Eg. a 1" red leather belt with a silver filigree buckle.

4. Third Layer: A jacket/blazer is going to work best here, and it should be in a neutral colour.

Eg. a chocolate brown blazer, or a denim jacket (denim is a neutral - yes, it is!).

5. Tights: You could add a complimentary colour (in the same colour family) for some visual interest or textured tights in brown. Plain ol' nylons also work when you're not sure. Work with what you've got.

Eg. orange opaque tights or brown micro-fishnets.

6. Boots: Nothing will help your summer dress look more season appropriate than boots. A neutral boot will work best, and knee-high boots will work better than ankle booties.

Eg. Brown leather boots.

7. Accessories: Your belt is one, your boots is one, but you take it up a notch and add a brooch and earrings (you will have quite a lot going on near the neckline already, so skip a necklace). This is where I usually add some fun - dangly earrings, a vintage brooch.

Change it up ideas:

- belt the jacket instead of the 2nd layer
- skip the 2nd layer and just do the t-shirt and jacket
- wear the t-shirt over the dress and add the 2nd and/or 3rd layers
- try a different colour palette for your layering colours (instead of the reds used in the examples, try yellow or turquoise)

Here's an example of winterizing from my closet: my leaf-print shift dress that I bought last spring (also worn here and here):

1. Underneath layer: I've layered my black Alice Cooper t-shirt under the dress. The colours in the dress pattern are: camel, brown, white/cream, yellow and black, so I'm limited to my layering colour (and what I have in my wardrobe), but I want that t-shirt to be one of those colours.2. Second layer: Add the long yellow sweater (not quite the same yellow as the yellow in the dress' pattern, but close enough). My t-shirt's sleeves hang out, and you can just see a bit of the dress at the sweater neckline.
5. Tights: At this point, I would put tights on, but due to this particular pattern, I'd wear plain nylons; brown tights would be too dark, fishnets a little busy with the pattern, and yellow would be too much since I'm already doing a yellow sweater. Camel is an option, but I think it might look weird on the legs, like I'd overdone the self-tanner, ha!

3. Belt it and 6. Boots: I chose a wide belt to balance the length of the sweater. If I'd done a shorter sweater or a vest, a thinner belt would look better. The neutral belt doesn't match any of the browns in the dress pattern, but the texture of the cutout compliments the pattern in the dress. The boots also don't match the dress, but they're also neutral so they go.

"Going" is better than matching!

4. Third layer and 7. Accessories: Add the jacket and the jewelry. I added a black suit jacket instead of brown; I felt that brown would definitely be too matchy for this since I have lots of brown in the boots and belt, as well as in the pattern of the dress.

For a brooch, I added my yellow sunflower - I don't have a gold brooch! I think I need to get one! For jewelry, I added the hammered gold cuff and brown disc earrings (sorry, not visible - I'm without make-up and not quite ready to show the world that, haha).

Some notes about all of this:
- Certain summery things just don't transition well, like very thin fabrics (silk skirts, cotton linings). They tend to cling to tights and hosiery and make you frustrated and annoyed over the course of a day. A slip can help...but sometimes it's just better to save those items until warmer weather.
- Thin layers work better than thick layers. A thick sweater or bulky jacket will overwhelm a summer-weight dress.
- When you have more than 2 colours in a pattern, you're a lot more limited to what goes with it. I wouldn't wear red or turquoise with my above outfit, but with Alison's brown/white, she could add up to 2 colours with it (not including neutrals).

Further thoughts for Alison's dress are welcome, as well as comments on my suggestions.

Edit: Here's how Alison worked this dress for winter:
That is awesome! Well done, Alison! You've got a great pop with that raspberry top and I love the texture and shine of the belt! My only suggestion would be that go with a slightly narrower belt, and do up the buttons of the cardi on either side and underneath the belt (the cardi will lay flatter).

Now that I've seen the dress, I would also consider:
- a plain white or solid colour blouse under the dress, with a jacket on top
- a coloured tight with the brown bootie

Cheers,
Sheila

Taking Requests/Answering Questions

As of tomorrow (Thursday) morning, I am off to visit my inlaws for a couple of days, then this weekend I will be watching football playoffs (go, Carolina!) and generally slacking about. And I'll be off work Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, hanging around the house and trying to remember where I left my sanity (is it in the library? is it under the chesterfield?).

So here's your chance: I'm taking requests and/or answering questions.

Want to see a particular item in my closet? An accessory? What would I wear for X occasion? Fashion queries? How much is that doggie in the window?

Fill your boots! Have at me! Give me your best! No question too silly or request too outrageous (Caveat: If I don't like your question or request, I will say so. Nothing rude or unseemly, please - my young nieces check out Auntie's blog.).

Cheers,
Sheila